Silent Satisfaction or Thunderous emptiness?
Are you loving your life?
You know work, family, your health, friends all the good stuff.
Yes. Awesome, carry on and no need to read on.
No. Chances are the external chorus is drowning out your internal voice.
So what is this internal voice? Too many voices and people might think you are crazy. So let’s go with one voice and many sources of data. Are you a head or heart person. When it comes time to make a decision do you follow your heart, your head no wait maybe it is your gut. All three can provide great data for you to process and make great decisions that your one voice can help articulate. I like to think of them as your guides, wise council or even your board if that appeals to you. Other labels for this internal data might be called instinct and intuition and don’t forget the rules we create called beliefs.
How many of your decisions and actions are taken based on checking in and respecting the data mentioned above?
Or
Are your decisions made and actions taken based on what your parents expect from you, your teachers demanded from you, your boss’ rewarded or punished you for? Perhaps it is the voice of someone you admired, a musician, sports star, wealthy human or great philanthropist. Maybe it is a religious leader. It might just be what you see in the news or read in magazines about what is required to fit in wherever it is you want to belong. All this data comes from outside you or what I like to call the external chorus. There are many voices, loud and powerful ones everywhere.
Happiness, fulfillment, rich relationships, good sleep, an abundance of energy can be the difference and signposts of which voice is louder in your life. If you are experiencing the above I would say your internal voice is more than holding it’s own in your world. If you are not then the external voice may well be louder.
If you want to drown out the external chorus you want to make your internal voice easier to hear and more valuable to listen to. It won’t hurt to quieten and discredit the external chorus too.
Slow down, be still and tune in. Where is your sanctuary, what is your pocket of uninterrupted time and what routine helps you tune in to you? It might be a more dynamic space or activity, I find running works well for me. Ask yourself questions and listen in. Oh and do no more. Suspend judgement, give up the need to prove it is or isn’t possible, don’t build your case to defend the data. Just listen.
The feeling and acting after you listen will help you value your internal voice more. If you feel calm and at peace with what you hear be guided by that and take action. Then make time to reflect if you still feel calm and at peace or other desirable emotions. If you do it will be easier to listen to that voice. You will even grow to trust and have confidence in that voice. Well you and the data that comes from your head, heart and gut.
Have you ever noticed how hard it is to hear the radio when your kettle is boiling? Or is that just me? When we are tuned into one noise it becomes much harder to listen to another. We know there is noise over there and we just aren’t quite sure what it is saying. May the kettle be your internal voice and the radio the external chorus.
Of course once the kettle has boiled the radio will become clearer. This is when discrediting the voices in your external chorus becomes powerful. The next time you are making a decision and all you can hear is you Dad’s voice be curious. How well has that data served you in the past? What actions have you taken and what were the outcomes based on that voice in your external chorus? I am sure your dad shared some gems and there might just be one or two bits of advice that don’t serve you well. To loosen their grip think of ten examples of the pain you suffered as a result of taking action based on that advice. Associating pain to that advice will make it a whole lot easier to ignore next time. Then choose and give yourself new advice that serves you better. Take time to identify ten times you have taken action based on that advice and what the benefits were. This process can be applied to all the advice received from all the important people that still reverberate around in your head.
If you don’t fill your day with what you want to do it will be filled with what other people want you to do.
Reflect over the last week and how you filled your days. Were there more days filled with what you wanted to do? If so there is evidence you are tuned in to your internal voice.
How do you define success?
What is your ideal day?
What does your ideal job look like?
Answer these questions to create tools that can guide you back to your internal voice.
You may make lots of money, drive fancy cars, holiday in exotic locations and be well known for it, envied even. If you are left with a nagging lack or thunderous emptiness your answers above are likely to be inherited from someone else and filled with what matters to others and not you.
If you experience a silent satisfaction, move easily amongst friends and family with little or no expectation I would say you are guided by and listening to your internal voice.
If tuning in to your internal voice and building tools to define your success, ideal day and ideal job appeal come join us on Friday October 28th for a day of doing just that.
