Love, not like.
I want to talk about love.
Do you use the word love? It strikes me that we don’t use the word love as much as we once did.
Is it because it is no longer cool to love things? Does its use invite in the possibility of disappointment or worse heartbreak?
Sure when discussing footy teams, holidays and favourite food love can be heard more freely. Why when we discuss what really matters to us does it disappear?
I like to, I enjoy, it would be good to, it would be interesting to. Not love.
As a career coach I am often in conversations with people working out what’s next or what they could be in the future. So often the conversations starts and finishes with what people can do and is guided by what they are good at. No use of that L word. Even after I prompt them to consider what they want to do and be guided but what they love doing the L word is absent.
How often have you heard Love used in work conversations or even broader conversations with work colleagues?
I believe there is a MASSIVE lost opportunity when we don’t use the L word. Love.
What we like to do, enjoy, find interesting and might even think is good to do has a very different impact on us and the lives we lead. I think of it as the 4-6 out of 10 life. Oh, it is safe to be sure. It will protect you from the wildly uncomfortable 1s and 2s and prevent you from experiencing awesome and amazing 8s, 9s and 10s. What kind of life do you want to experience? Are you here for the full rich life experience or a milder, safer version?
Positive and optimistic people often use good, like and enjoy to justify spending a day doing things that don’t matter to them, perhaps even things they don’t really like. After all, how we see ourself and how we use our time is important to us. Language matters. What words are you using to describe your day and how you experienced it?
Have you ever thought of how motivation and inspiration differ and what opportunities they represent? Love is a key to inspiration.
Motivation comes from an external source and tends to be temporary, fleeting even. A boss telling us we are great or did good work and your salary might be such external sources. The thing is once the boss stops talking or the money runs out so too our drive to do those things that are interesting, good or we like to do.
Inspiration is a more sustainable energy source and comes from within. We don’t need to be told when to start and in fact might need to be told when to stop. When challenges arrive, it is no longer all too hard and becomes a great opportunity to learn. We might even find ourselves more organized and embracing planning to make the most of the opportunity to do what inspires us. That which we LOVE to do.
Getting out of bed for a day fueled by motivation is likely to include the snooze button more often than a day that includes even one activity you LOVE to do. I am not getting out of bed before 6am unless I am off to the airport and flying to an amazing holiday destination. I love travelling.
So are you connected to what you love doing and have just substituted in different language? Your body will tell you. What do you talk about or do that lights you up, makes you feel energized and or smiling about?
You may have a greater barrier than language. You may have stopped doing what you LOVE entirely or maybe just in a work context. If so I encourage you to picture a giddy child, you know the one gesticulating wildly, expressing themselves at a totally inappropriate volume without a care in the world. When were you last that giddy child and what were you doing?
I LOVE exercise, the Hawks, family and American BBQ!
Identifying what you love doing can radically change the direction of your career, align you to a different industry or maybe guide you to new projects or volunteering opportunities in your current role. What I am sure about is you will be a happier human, dare I say Your Best Self, if you can include even just one thing you LOVE doing each day. Your partner, kids, friends, colleagues and local community will all benefit too.
How might you use the L word. Go on.. LOVE doesn’t sound so bad. In fact, it feels reallllly good.
